As leaders, especially women leaders, we’re usually taught to mask our negative emotions and be positive, upbeat, and energetic. After all, we’re setting an example for our teams and colleagues.
But what if you don’t FEEL positive and upbeat?
We’re supposed to power through, use our willpower to paste that smile on our face and maintain that “can do” attitude, right?
How does that work for you?
I can tell you that after a while, it didn’t work so well for me.
Honestly, it was exhausting.
And, studies have shown that the more tired we are, the less willpower we have. Which means it’s even harder to maintain that façade.
Our willpower is finite. That’s a fact.
It gets worn down by time, expending mental energy, and maintaining emotional control.
One way to recharge our willpower is sleep, but since we can’t take naps in the middle of the workday, we try other things. Maybe we sneak a cookie or a candy bar or an extra cup of coffee as a pick-me-up. Maybe we zone out in that four o’clock meeting. Maybe we even play a mindless game on our phones or find some other way of distracting ourselves.
Maybe we tough it out and go home and have an extra glass of wine or one more slice of pizza.
We tell ourselves we’re taking a break or rewarding ourselves, but I hate to tell you this:
Those kinds of breaks won’t help your willpower or your emotional mastery.
To truly recharge your willpower, you need to take power breaks.
Here are a few examples of the power breaks you can take to recharge your willpower and emotional resilience, and they only take 2-3 minutes:
- Take a walk outside and listen to the birds, the traffic, or whatever other sounds you hear. (DON’T listen to a podcast or talk to someone on your phone.)
- Look at a piece of artwork in your office and pick one section of it to study closely. Very closely. Notice all the colors and nuances of the painting or photo.
- Sit still and scan your body slowly. Stop and notice every little ache and pain, every stiff muscle. Notice your breathing. Notice how your chair feels against your legs and back.
In all these instances, it’s vital that you pay attention to what you are doing. When other thoughts or feelings interrupt, refocus your attention on what you are doing. It’s kind of like meditating, but the point is to focus all your attention on one small thing.
The longer you can focus, the more impact your “break” will have, but 2-3 minutes will go a long way.
What these types of practices do is shift your brain out of survival mode, where it goes when you’re tired and stressed and edgy, and back into your executive function where your willpower and emotional mastery reside.
In the long run, they’ll make you more productive and – dare I say it? – happier.
These practices are based on my work with the Positive Intelligence® framework, and they are effective. I promise!
Try them out this week and let me know how it goes.
As I wrap up my series on the heart and emotions in honor of Women’s Heart Health Month, here’s a quick summary:
- Our emotions give us important clues about ourselves, others, and our environments. Suppressing or ignoring them hurts our ability to reach optimal performance and fulfillment. (Are You Leading with Your Head, Heart, or Gut?)
- All negative emotions, except grief, are based on fear. When you have a negative emotion, ask yourself what you are really afraid of. (Love and Fear Are the Only Real Emotions)
- Mirror Neurons activate in response to other people’s emotions as a way of connecting, but they can lead us down a very negative path. (Why Every Leader Needs to Know About Mirror Neurons)
- Willpower alone is not the key to emotional mastery. Use power breaks to recharge your willpower and reset your emotional state.
Our emotions are powerful tools in our leadership arsenals, and it’s time that we reclaim them and use them effectively, especially in this fast-paced and technology-driven environment.
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If you’d like to learn more about how I help leaders like you, lower their stress, increase their productivity, and create a rich and fulfilling life, contact me!
