You’ve just gotten a new role. It might be a new role in the same company, a new role in a different company, or a new role in your life (like becoming a parent).
But it’s just a new role. It doesn’t change your identity, right? It doesn’t change who you really are.
Or does it?
Identity on one hand is “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual”, to quote Merriam-Webster. In that sense, identity is fairly fixed, like your eye color.
And part of your identity is fixed. Your essence, your unique combination of innate characteristics and talents is part of who you are, of your identity.
But if we look to psychology, our identity is also created by the memories, experiences, relationships, and values that create our sense of self. It’s a rich tapestry woven from the various threads in our lives: the roles we play (such as being a partner, parent, or our job), external characteristics (like height, race, or socioeconomic class), political opinions, moral attitudes, and religious beliefs. All these elements contribute to our identity, shaping who we are over time.
Over time.
Our identity changes over time. Both our self-identity – who we believe we are – and our external identity – who others believe we are – change during our lifetimes. Probably a lot more than we realize.
Your identity will change with your new role.
The more important questions are: How will your identity change and whether it will be a conscious or unconscious change?
Because the last thing you want to do is abandon your values or put on a façade.
Whatever identity you create for your new role must be consistent with your values and authentic character.
Ask yourself what characteristics, skills, or image are needed in your new role. How can you show up authentically AND effectively?
Let’s face it. Especially as women, we often hide our talents, ideas, and opinions in the pursuit of being liked, keeping the peace, or not rocking the boat.
A new role – professional or personal – gives us the opportunity to show up differently, more powerfully, confidently, and authentically.
The problem is that old habits are hard to break. Our patterns of behavior are well-established and have been, usually, successful in the past.
Why change?
I can tell you from my own experience that you will change anyway, and it’s a much more effective and authentic process when you control it rather than letting it control you.
Take, for instance, my transition from an executive to an entrepreneur. Not only did I need to learn new skills (changing my identity), but I also had to show up in a new way. I no longer had a title and defined role to shape my identity. I had to create a new identity as an author, speaker, entrepreneur, and mentor/coach/trusted advisor.
Had I been doing many of those things in my corporate job? Yes, but in a very different way.
As an entrepreneur, I didn’t have a company, a boss, or an organization to help define me. I just had me and what I created.
It’s been fun, scary, challenging, and very, very empowering.
Looking back, I also realize that the same thing happened when I changed roles within my company. Each new role, each promotion, forced me to take on a different identity. I wish now that I had been more deliberate in choosing that identity, although I certainly did choose some aspects of the new identity that the various roles required. In others, I can see where I allowed the environment to influence me more than I would have liked.
We’re never free from environmental influences, but we can be aware of them and manage them if we pay attention.
So, are you choosing your identity or letting your environment choose it for you?
If you’d like to learn more about how women leaders can shape their own identities in 2024 and beyond, check out my new masterclass: TRANSCENDENT LEADERSHIP FOR WOMEN! Just click here.
