Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, this time of year is often about giving and receiving gifts. “What do you want?” is a familiar refrain as friends and family struggle to find the perfect gift for everyone on their list.
While I hope that you do receive the “things” that you want or need this holiday season, I’d also like to challenge you to ask yourself what you really want in your life now and in the future. Do you know?
So many women that I speak with truly don’t know. As women and especially as women leaders, we get caught up in meeting everyone’s expectations and often lose sight of our own. Knowing and claiming what we want seems selfish, difficult or downright impossible.
So, we suppress our wants and desires. We dismiss or diminish them. We focus on meeting everyone else’s needs and expectations, believing that’s where we’ll find the most fulfillment.
And while serving others IS fulfilling, it can be even more fulfilling and meaningful if you’re receiving and being nourished too — if YOUR needs are being met.
Of course, getting what you want IS impossible if you don’t even acknowledge your needs and desires.
As you move through the holiday season, finding the right gifts, and making sure that everyone you serve has their needs met – because I know that’s what you’re going to do! – why not set aside a little time to explore what you really want?
Here are some questions that you might want to consider in the process:
- What dreams did I have a year ago, five years ago, when I was younger that I haven’t fulfilled? Do I still want to fulfill them? What steps have I taken toward fulfilling them? Why or why not?
- What’s working well in my life right now? What makes me happy? What feels good and aligned with who I am or want to be? How do I get more of that?
- What’s not working well in my life? Where do I feel anxious or frustrated or resentful? Where can I draw more or better boundaries to improve those situations? What do I want or need to eliminate?
I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, but I’ve learned in the last few years that taking some time around the holidays (or your birthday or whatever other time works for you) to reflect on your dreams and aspirations helps keep what you want in focus.
Knowing what you want isn’t selfish. You can have your own needs met in addition to supporting other people to get theirs met. Really. You can!
So, my friends, in this time of magic and miracles, open yourself up to new possibilities for now and the future, possibilities that light you up and excite you. Possibilities that motivate you and allow you to dream.
If you want to have your dreams come true, you have to start by dreaming.
I had the pleasure of participating in a fascinating conversation yesterday with Chris Barryman of Bringing Humanity Together. You can check it out here. You can check it out here.
One of the things that came up in the conversation was how to live your life fully – a value that is at the core of my business and my life. I loved what came up for me when Chris asked me that question:
“Living life fully is opening your heart to share your gifts and talents with others, while at the same time being open to receive the gifts and talents from others.”
It’s not a one-way street!!!
We support other people by listening to and receiving from them, from allowing them to contribute to our lives as much as we are contributing to theirs!
So, what do you want this holiday season?
If you whisper honestly in Santa’s ear, you might just be surprised at what he delivers.
PS – If you want help exploring what matters and getting super clear on what you want for 2024 and beyond, I’m offering a new 6-week program called the “Clarity Intensive” to support you in identifying your wants and needs and creating a plan to get there. Schedule a call to see if this program is a good fit for you!
